It's strange how the brain works.
Do you ever have days when you remember certain events that happened to you during your childhood or teens? For me, it always happens when I wake up and lie in bed thinking. Today, I thought about an event which happened in year 7 (12-13 years old). My "friends" and I were goofing around at lunch time. I say "friends" because they weren't. I just hung around with the wrong crowd. I was in the lowest sets in year 7, as the teachers thought I had no ability to do anything. Luckily, they were wrong and in year 8, I moved up to the top sets. In the lowest sets, you don't really get the good students. They're always the ones which cause trouble, and don't care about their grades.
Anyways, flashback to that one lunch time. They were playing with our deodorants, trying to spray each other with them. People walked past and one claimed to get hit in the eye and went to the head of year to complain. They only dropped two names. Me and another boy.
I got called out of my history class - left all my belonging in class. The head yelled at us for a long time, and of course I cried. I didn't want to be in trouble. She asked us both if there was anyone else, or if it was just us. The boy lied and said it was just us. But, I ended up grassing the others. That didn't end too nicely.
I was in such a state, the head let me sit with her to calm down for the rest of the class. She went and got the others from my class and scolded them too.
It was the end of school, so I went back to my class to retrieve my things, and guess what? The items in my pencil case were all gone. My teacher said nothing and said she didn't see them take anything. Bullshit.
I remember having a whole set of smelling gel pen and tippex. I was so gutted.
The next day, I remember them all not speaking to me and calling me names. My "best friend" was against me and kept saying I was a grass and that I was a teachers pet. I felt awful.
Now, thinking back to that day, the feelings are so vivid. I remember how alone I was, and how I wished I kept my emotions in check and not grassed them up. I wish I could go back to my old self and tell her to man up, you did what you had to do. They all had a deodorant fight and dragged you along with it by hanging around with them. I wish I could go back, and tell them to shut up and that they deserved getting yelled at. I also wish I could go back to my head of year and tell her to shut up, too. We were kids, and had some fun spraying each other. Where were the teachers monitoring the school yard? Surely, the teachers there should have told us to stop if it was a bad thing to do? There was no need to yell at us for that long, a warning would have sufficed.
Luckily, I stopped hanging around with them after year 7. In year 8, I moved to a higher level class and made some really good friends. They're still my friends today.