Eradicate Negativity! (My Story)

This is a different blog post than usual. Recent events has led me to write this post, and it’s not really a vent, but more closure for myself. Recently, I’ve been flicking through my ‘On this day’ feature on Facebook. As much as I love this feature, I hate it at the same time. It tends to show me comments from people I have cut out of my life. Recently, a few comments have popped up from a past negative person, we’ll name her ‘Gabby’ for the sake of her anonymity. I’m sure the people who know me, know who I am referring to anyways. 

This was one of the many comments that came up. I usually don’t click on the ‘comments’ part of the post. But recently I have! And on my usual updates about travel, or life, I would get a comment like this (above). I’ve come across 6 of these in the past 3 weeks. 

So let’s start from the beginning. Back in my university days, I lived with 4 other people in student accommodation. I made friends with two of them, as they were doing science things. One of them, I got close to. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t fond of her to start. Gabby was always controlling and got moody if I didn’t do as she asked or if I hung out with people she didn’t like. Who in my opinion, were fine! I felt like I needed to please her, buy expensive things and basically be the person I was not! I apologize to those I did wrong, because of her! You know who you are. I got sucked up in her mind set and wasn’t able to break free as I felt I needed to please her since we lived together. 

She grew up in a rich family I guess and people like me and my friends were common and she probably liked to have someone who was submissive to boss around. I was too much of a push over back then and always worried about what others thought of me. I still am these things, but recently have started to become more defensive. It’s a learning process. 

I lived with Gabby for three years, we found apartments together and the second year was when it took its toll. I found myself a boyfriend, he was a lovely guy and we spent a lot of time together. Unfortunately, Gabby got jealous that I spent time away from her and kept sending me messages like ‘are you home tonight?’, ‘are you staying out’ ...etc. just like the ones in the picture. 

It was my first real boyfriend; so yeah, I spent more time at his than at mine. Which is okay, as it was my life and what I chose to do. 

Skip to the third year, and things got really bad. I mean really! I went through an eating disorder where I would only eat 500cals a day, and Gabby would always say, ‘I know why you’re not eating that, too many calories right? Just eat it’ Basically triggering me and making me feel awful and sending me down another spiral. I did pull myself up and get out of it. It only lasted the summer which I am so thankful for (tip, don’t binge watch America’s next top model). 

Anyways, we didn’t have locks on our doors and she would barge in all the time. She would steal my clear nail varnish, too and I would have to go get it back from her. 

I got a different boyfriend, who was a dick πŸ˜‚! But I didn’t know that then. I was too infatuated! But, I got so many bad comments from Gabby. Oh ‘you dirty stop out’ and things like that. ‘I heard him sneaking out the door’...when really he left to go to work! 

One time, I got a urine infection and she told people I got an STI! A urine infection is common for girls! And I’m sure she had her share when we were living together. This was when I realized that I needed to ditch her. Obviously, being a shy person, I just lived with it. 

Gabby would stalk me online, and always looked at what I posted on twitter. I only knew because she had her laptop open and I pressed the first letter of my twitter username into the search bar. Guess what came up? Yeah, the link to my twitter. I always knew she was stalking me, as she would always say something inreference to what I posted. 

Gabby went to America during our vacation between third and fourth year. And I was left with the task of looking for a new apartment for us. I didn’t mind this, but when it was time to actually pay a deposit, she wanted me to use my own money for both of us! Okay, so the past three years, I would always go to the store and Gabby would ask me to pick stuff up for her! NEVER has she paid me back! I was too much of a coward to ask for it and I’m sure she knew that! 

Also, I would cook and she would eat half. She never cooked (she didn’t know how), so when I was out she would just eat cereal for her dinner. Maybe that’s why she always asked if I was staying out? 

So yeah, that is why I told her ‘no, I’m not paying for you’ and told her I wasn’t moving in with her anymore. I ignored her future messages and Skype sessions. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I ended up finding a place to stay and a new room mate. 

Obviously, things got sour between my bf back then and we broke up. I stupidly went and met up with Gabby, broke down crying (I was dumped so I was sad anyways). But I do regret going back and trying to ‘rekindle’ things, as she was a cow and referred to me as ‘her’ instead of my name the whole time. Why did I do it? Well, I was heart broken and felt like I needed to do it! 

I now know that I shouldn’t have! She was the most toxic and negative person that set foot into my life! My ex was bad, but she was worse. 

Sometimes I feel like she was only friends with me because I was common, and I did what she asked. She was very rude to other people and would always say that they were only at university because their parents paid for them to and bitched about everyone and anyone! Even her so called ‘best’ friend. And spread lies about me too. She only liked the ones who could afford the designer stuff. And always tried to get me to buy designer stuff like Nika handbags and purses, even a BlackBerry. Maybe to make me seem ‘cooler’. 

I’m a bit reluctant to post this, but I do feel like I need closure! I haven’t really talked about this before and feel like I need to tell my side of things. 

So the moral of this story! If you feel like someone is toxic, negative and basically putting you down a lot. Controlling you and whatever, don’t be afraid to step away and cut them out! You deserve better! 
I was scared to do it, but I am so glad I have and my life got so much better afterwards! I met some amazing people and was able to hang out with friends without someone constantly moaning on at me for doing so! 

Live the life you want and don’t ever let someone tell you what to do with it!! It took me three years to kick the negativity! But I did it eventually! 

Stay happy, 



  1. Some people are just depleting. They walk in and gradually take over other people's lives and make them negative. I like to think of them as dementers and it's best to stay away from dementers.

    1. Oh my! I also say the dementors thing! πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚

  2. I love stories like this. It's awesome that you were able to recognize how she was negatively affecting your life and take steps to remove that negative energy. SO many people just continue to undergo poor treatment because they think they can't find anything or anyone better to be around. Everyone has their fair share of issues but I think it's so sad when we lock ourselves up mentally and chain ourselves to people who do nothing but torture us emotionally. Thank you for sharing this, Kelly! It's served as a reminder for me to say no to the wrong people and make room for the right ones(:

  3. I have said since day one of our friendship "you are too nice for your own good!" But I can honestly say you shouldn't change that about you, don't give people like her the satisfaction of changing you or your life or behaviour in any way. You ARE a beautiful human being inside and out. You going through that sucks. However, it has made you a stronger person... I am not only pleased I am also truly proud to call you my friend. Xx

  4. It must have taken so much for you to have wrote and posted this, as well as to cut her out of your life! I'm so proud of you for doing it all though and I really hope this post helped you to gain some closure. She really does sound so toxic and not someone you'd need in your life at all, I'm sure you realise without me saying, that you're so much better off without her! It's good that you were able to see through her and get away, just such a shame you had to go through dealing with her in the first place! I hope you'll never let somebody treat you in that way again, you are worth so so much more! <3

  5. Wow, I'm always amazed at how utterly egoistic some people can be! This level of obsession, jealousy, and at the same time zero friendship commitment... Good on you for cutting her out of your life!
    Blogging about it might be the perfect way to get closure - we all don't know her, so you can summarize the whole thing from the beginning and really look at all the aspects of your (toxic) relationship, while keeping it anonymous. :) Hope you're doing better and won't meet someone like that ever again!

  6. I am so glad you eventually got her out of your life Kelly..Gabby sounds like the kind of friend who pulls you down and not pulls you up. You don't need people like her and I am sure you know that now. I think some of the facebook features are not beneficial and just bring back bad memories such as this.

  7. I know exactly how you feel Kelly. I've had my fair share of those types of people in my life but I don't think it was as bad as what you went through. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm so glad you got rid of her! She clearly doesn't deserve your friendship. And yea, those FB memory things sometimes bring back things from the past for me that I don't like but I just can't stop looking at them! xxx

  8. Sometimes you spend so much time and energy on someone, you get used to their ways and just hang on. I've totally been there and get what you have been through. You don't realize how toxic someone has been until you breathe fresher air. My best friend from college was a total narcissist. And I never realized how much I had been putting up with until i actually got out. So glad you got the courage to step out.. ♥️

  9. I had a friend like this and it's honestly so exhausting! Very happy you got her out of your life. It's too short for people like that! x


  10. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this and it’s sad that there are people like this in the world. I’ve had to deal with a “Gabby” myself. But I have to say that I learned more about myself and grew stronger from the experience.

  11. The girl sounds so nasty, and how she handled your ED was ridiculous. I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m very glad you’re in a much better situation now!

    Suffering Wanderlust

  12. Sometimes for your own sanity yiu have to cut out negative people I've had to do it since my op i cut a whole group out after being ignored yet expected to fawn over someone who had moved house. I see it like they have done me a favour I know who is important you are always better to have a small close circle than a big one. You are such a kind caring person Kelly it's always going to be her loss. Xx


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